New Year? New You? : “Unlearning” Mindset

We barely have our toes over the threshold of 2025, and how many of us have already begun to falter with our New Year’s resolution, if we even made one altogether? These collective moments of reflection are really important, but maybe setting goals with defined outcomes is losing their appeal. Perhaps aspirations are more fulfilled when setting intentions about who we want to become and are more potent than goals of what we want to achieve.

So, in our recent collaborative team meeting, I asked my teachers, ‘what do you want to be “more of” and “less of”,’ an approach that I felt was gentler when considering how we might evolve for this calendar year. Since this is such a vulnerable question, I started with my own example:

I want to be more curious, open-minded, comfortable lingering in ambiguity, and less quick to judge and be certain. 

I want to live my life as a question mark, not as a period. 

I shared that as my intention because I’m still pondering the changes that need to be considered from my Not Mincing Words blog. I can’t be the change I wish to see in the world if I am unwilling to change myself. Change begins with me. 

Here’s the thing…..I have to unlearn quite a bit.

I have a lot of “habit energy” of a paradigm that is starting to crumble as we wade into the waters of a VACU world. 

I don’t want to be the person who has all the answers, but instead, consider that there are possibilities out there that haven’t even been imagined yet. I want to be skeptical about our economic structures and power paradigms and contemplate that there is more to life than this hamster wheel that we seem to all be on. But more importantly, I want to create an “unlearning” mindset, which involves a conscious effort to challenge and change deeply ingrained thought patterns.

As an “unlearner”, I embrace And/Both Thinking and don’t allow the cement to dry on opinions or solutions but admit and, more importantly, encourage that there are other approaches or ways of being that might exist.  It compels me to sharpen my self-awareness skills and ask myself:

• When have I felt resistance to new information or methods? What does this resistance tell me about what I might need to unlearn?
• Why do I think/feel this way?
• Is this belief based on facts or assumptions?
• Are there beliefs I hold that might be limiting the potential for innovation in our collaborative work?
• How often do I engage with people or sources of information that challenge my current views?
• What life lessons have I learned that I now see might not serve me well anymore? How can I actively engage in the process of unlearning these lessons to embrace new ones?

There are more ways to inquire into challenging my status quo, but these questions are helping me examine patterns and beliefs. I’m particularly interested when I am resistant to something. I think this discomfort can be an alarm bell and an opportunity for  new “habit energy” to take shape with the ability to respond with 

• “Yes, and….”.
• “How might we…”
• “What if”

Unlearning, to me, is not about forgetting what I know but about questioning it, reshaping it, and sometimes, letting go of it to make room for new insights. It’s about recognizing that the world we live in is dynamic, and my understanding must be too.  And who knows, maybe this time next year, I might look in the mirror and honestly see staring back at me a person who is the change we need in the world. 

The clock is ticking, and the page has turned. What will you write on this fresh canvas of time? Make this the year of transformation.

So what do you want to be “more of”, “less of”?

I invite you to consider as you move into this “new year,” not just focus on the rituals of traditional goal setting. Let this “new year” really bring about a “new YOU.” Embrace the process of becoming—of evolving into better versions of ourselves, into question-askers, possibility-seekers, and change-makers.

Happy “New You”!