How can we approach moving on?
Home? Recently I attended a mindfulness retreat at Plum Village whose message was Harmony in the Home, Joy in the World. Home as they defined it, was being in the present moment, aware of our bodies, own emotions, and habit energies.
As an international educator, I have called many places my home. I’ve been lucky to meet and befriend people from a variety of backgrounds and cultures. But I’ve never considered time as the space and place that I actually inhabit.
By the 2nd semester of my 1st year, I knew that Laos was a temporary post, a stopover until I find my next professional home. Sometimes that happens as an international educator–you arrive at a place and realize that your values and interests don’t match the environment in which you find yourself. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t a “good” place, it’s just not the “right” place for you. Not every school can be your professional home and not every city can meet your personal needs. And sometimes you don’t know that until you transition into the new environment. You have to ask yourself–is this place going to bring out the best in me or the worst in me? How can I make this experience optimal for my personal and professional learning?
And here it is April already. I’m in the final 7 weeks of our school year. And, as I turn my attention and focus on moving on, it’s easy to lose focus as I pivot into my next role. I have to make a conscious decision to not coast out of the school year and remain present for the community in which I serve. I’ve been examining this “process of transitions” guide, recognizing that I am in the “leaving” mode. 
I can really relate to it. Having a strong desire to “finish strong” takes effort and intention when I am in the midst of transition. Here are some strategies I am employing to help me put a “bow” on this experience:
Express joy
Oftentimes, people focus on the faults of a place in order to justify why they are leaving. That’s a really ugly and angry mental space to be in. And the truth is, there’s a lot to love when you stop and think about. Furthermore, there’s a lot to laugh at and enjoy. So I am asking myself…
What can I cherish? What quirks and unique things might I miss and should value while I still can experience them? Was there any “must-dos” that I haven’t done which would be a fun way to round off living here?
So now, in the space of time left, my family and I have made a list of the things we’d like to that would help us cope with the anxiety that comes along with moving by finding all the things that are lovable about this place so that we may feel positive about our time spent living here.
Express gratitude
When I consider what brings me the deepest sense of regret, it has always been telling people how absolutely wonderful they are. Even those individuals who I’ve struggled with have been a boon to my personal and professional growth. Heck, I’d say that they were like a nagging piece of dirt from which I had an opportunity to develop a pearl of wisdom from this experience.
Truly, I feel grateful for the growth that was created through the relationships I had during my experience here. Whether I present a person with in-person thank you or through a card or email, it’s important to reflect and show appreciation for the contribution that they made in my life. I’ve created a roster of all those individuals who I need to express my appreciation for and looking for opportunities to share them in the weeks ahead–making it a fun part of my “to do” list.
Express forgiveness
Recently one of our counselors sent us an email entitled: “Leaving well”–what a beautiful notion! In it she informed us:
Times of transition can be challenging for everyone – those leaving, those staying and those arriving. David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken in their book, Third Culture Kids, (available in the VIS Library) talk about the importance of leaving well. To do this they suggest building a RAFT to get from ‘here’ to ‘there’:
R: Right any wrongs – make peace or resolve any conflicts
A: Affirmations – let people know how important they have been
F: Farewells – saying goodbye or see you later to people and favourite places
T: Thinking and learning about the next place
I found the R in RAFT to be an interesting component to “leaving well”–not because making amends is unusual but that it is listed FIRST. Addressing those areas of tenderness from our past interactions is an act of courage. It requires admitting our own errors in judgment and behavior. However, I can see why it’s a vital component since we don’t want to bring any residue of anger or regret into our next experience. Although these conversations could be awkward, I think they can be really powerful and can have a profound healing effect if we approach it in the spirit of humility and candor.
So who have I “wronged”? And who has “wronged” me? This is something that I also need to look deeply at and address in the weeks to come in a sober and sincere way.
Start Now
So I’ve already made appointments with individuals and put “things to do” on my calendar.
Of course, we don’t need to wait until we are in the process of leaving to cultivate joyful experiences in the community that we live in, as well as communicating our appreciation and amnesty. Anyone can do this any time. Even if you aren’t stepping into your “next”, you can find peace where you are, breathing in and enjoying your “home” with the people around you and places you find yourself in.
Developing learners as leaders is my joy! I am committed and passionate International Baccaluearate (IB) educator who loves cracking jokes, jumping on trampolines and reading books. When I’m not playing Minecraft with my daughter, I work on empowering others in order to create a future that works for everyone.
But this IS learning. Learning isn’t just about acquiring knowledge and skills. It’s about becoming a better version of ourselves. Me 2.0 It’s about surprising ourselves with what we can do. It’s about connecting and collaborating with others with purpose and passion. And most importantly, it’s about growing ourselves emotionally so we can be mature, sensitive and happy human beings. One of my friends, 
Although his battle cry of existential was influential and thought-provoking-it has yet to truly realize its potential for disrupting the status quo, but it seems that technology indeed has the capacity to transform many long-held beliefs and practices. Like it or not, we MUST change. The pick-ax has been replaced by the smartphone, in which our hands are no longer as useful as our minds. Nowadays our “
Of course, if we were looking at this through the lens of 
think these are the foundational pieces (Time, Content and Assessment) that create “bad faith” in our schools. Although I have ruminated a bit on these topics in this post, I have hardly dug deep into how we can transform them. I believe that is the business of EVERYONE to do in their unique educational settings. Maybe, as teachers, we start with Content, thinking about how we might “rock the boat”. And as leaders, we need to examine the other elements of Time and Assessment and start to challenge our dogmatic approaches.
Why don’t we care more? Why can’t we change? Why is money more important than well-being and health? Can’t we evolve our political systems to match the global needs of society vs. the interests of business?
So what do you do to bring out the best in teachers and colleagues? How do you instill trust and confidence in them? And how do you connect with them when you have something difficult to share? Do others solicit your advice for improvement or turn to others for help? Or do you have closed doors and closed minds?
Moreover, my daughter, like so many of children her age, are now encountering the 
Mediocrity in our ho-hum test scores, in our bland school lunches, in our students’ indifferent attitudes, in our top-down staff meetings, in our pithy report comments, even in the lackluster of our playground equipment. The evidence is everywhere.
And when people appreciate and understand the “bigger picture”, they can contribute to solving problems and challenges that are encountered in the learning community, rather than being obstacle makers and naysayers. It’s easy to rally individuals when they have a clear purpose, and they feel that they have “skin in the game”. We must not only inspire but incite others by bringing them into the decision-making process.